


1. don't get separated, they'll find other friends and you'll be left behind

by orphan_account



Series: Rules to Friendship [1]
Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Abandonment, Alternate Universe, Angst, Childhood Friends, Denial of Feelings, M/M, Metaphors, Self-Denial, Similes, Slow Build, Walking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-03
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-04-24 15:23:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4924828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's hard to admit something personal to someone, regardless of whether it's serious or not. Not to mention if you haven't even admitted it to yourself. Or if you're so far down into the closet, you can feel Aslan's roar in your ear. If the object of your affections is right in front of you, demanding to know what's up with you. Especially if he's your best-friend, that friend that's been yours since forever. The friend that would chat idly to you when Hikaru was too occupied with Tamaki or Haruhi. Maybe even both, maybe you shouldn't even give a shit anymore. Whether he likes you or not, you'll never work out. So it's just easier to hide it. Let him guess, because he's never finding out ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. don't get separated, they'll find other friends and you'll be left behind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Girorodesu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Girorodesu/gifts).



> “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”  
> for tumblr user @girorodesu

“Anything interesting happen today?” Kyoya asked, his voice monotone, only trying to make conversation. His head turned to Kaoru slightly, his eyes glancing to the bright orange hair before going back to the concrete. He couldn’t trust himself to not stare at Kaoru endearingly.

Despite them being friends for almost forever- since Kyoya was four years old, he’d found himself fluttering at the thought of Kaoru. From things as little as a look, to passionate kisses against a crumbling maroon brick wall.

Or the feel of Kaoru’s soft fire hair, free of split ends, running through his fingers. The graceful flutter of his eyebrows every time he blinked, the golden slates twisting and turning around his iris.

The harsh, yet oddly elegant, steps Kaoru took, his feet almost dragging his body around. His shoulders arched backwards slightly, illuminating his (strangely) amazing posture.

His carefully manicured fingernails, the matt black contrasting perfectly with Kaoru’s cream shade. The curling of Kao’s long bony fingers as his whole body shivers at the cold, eagerly grabbing Kyoya’s jacket out of his hands.

The balletic movement of his forearm, as Kaoru covers his mouth loosely with the back of his palm. His eyes close to closing, his pupils large and full of glee.

It was easy to say that Kyoya loved everything about Kaoru. But of course, he couldn’t admit it, ever. Not with how long they’d been together. Not with all the times they’d ran around Kyoya’s huge back garden, doing almost anything to tap each other. Making the other it, as Tamaki and Hikaru enjoyed their lemonade, arguing about whose toy car was better. Hikaru’s sky blue racing car, with bold red stickers, stuck randomly across the car. Or Tamaki’s rosy red racing car, with big daisy stickers stuck methodically on the car doors.

Kaoru had told Hikaru to do it like Tamaki, though Hika was too stubborn to listen. While Kyoya told Tamaki to use more ‘better’ stickers for a racing car. Tamaki didn’t listen either.  

“Nothing too exciting, Tamaki and Hikaru are still after Haruhi’s ass,” Kaoru replied, referring to the plain brunette in the twin’s class. She was nothing special. With a small pancake like chest and straw like hair sticking to her face like honey.

Yet, even with Kyoya into boys, he could see the strange attraction towards her. She was different to everyone else, nobody was even close to her when it came to social opinions and intellect. She had such different aspects to everyone else, she thought so uniquely and beautifully compared to everyone else.

Haruhi was different to all the girls Tamaki and Hikaru had played before, she couldn’t fall for bullshit. She was interesting and complex. It was easy for her to surpass Hikaru’s tendency to get bored, there were so many aspects to her. Tamaki’s high expectations for a beautiful girl, with amazing empathy and sense of justice, was fulfilled with Haruhi.

“She’s an interesting girl,” Kyoya tells him, pushing his glasses to the bridge of his nose. He watched Kaoru with the corner of his eye, waiting for a reaction. He knew Kaoru was taking the ‘betrayal and abandonment’ hard, he was too. Living your whole life with two crazed idiots always pestering you, it’s strange for them not be around anymore. Almost alien, to see them far away from you.

“It’s almost like watching a movie screen, isn’t it?” Kaoru asked, his head dropping, not paying any attention to Kyoya at all. It was almost as if Kyoya wasn’t there at all. And somehow, Kyoya found himself understanding the whole thing. He never had a twin, he never shared sixteen years with someone so closely (even sharing beds) before having nothing to do with them.

But he did understand losing a friend. A friend that was always banging on your door, begging to play in their expensive ruby bedroom even when he was persistent that he was busy. A friend that was always there, pushing him to do better in his life. Pushing him to be kind and considerate. Pushing him to be almost a hundred times better than he knew he wasn’t.

He understood the hurt and anger; someone who spent so much time with you, simply walked away. Kyoya understood the loneliness, that not only did Tamaki leave him. He left him with Hikaru in hand. He knew the feeling of being thrown away, knowing that you just didn’t click with that person anymore. Because they found someone better to spend their time with. And that person just happened to be someone, you held close to heart too.

Though, Kyoya supposed it was harder for Kaoru. Not only did Kaoru lose his twin brother, he lost his best-friend. His best-friend that shared colourful biro pens with, until eventually they started to doodle on each other’s faces.

Kaoru was equally close to the two of them. Kyoya only considered losing Hikaru a minor loss. Something not worth worrying about. Kaoru couldn’t decide who he was most mad at, and that must have destroyed him the most.

With nobody to blame it onto, he could only bottle it up, and blame himself.

Kyoya waited for Kaoru to continue, his footsteps slower and shallower. He knew Kaoru had so much to get off his chest. He could almost sense it. From the meagre tension in Kaoru’s shoulders, and the way his fingers twitched every couple of seconds.

Kaoru was good at hiding emotions. But Kyoya had been observing for so long, he knew all of Kaoru’s tricks.

“It’s like being behind a glass mirror, you’re constantly banging on the glass, yelling and yelling for them to wait up. Your voice is coarse and you’re really tired. You’re so tired of hoping they’ll hear you, hoping they’ll notice the frown on your face. Because you know they won’t. They can’t hear you. They don’t even realise they’re abandoning us, and that’s the worst,” Kaoru says, after taking large breath, his voice managing to say it all in one breath.

Kyoya doesn’t say anything, but watches eagerly as Kaoru’s fingers relax and his shoulders loose most of their tension. His eyes say glued, waiting for the remaining tension to leave Kaoru’s body, but it doesn’t. It worries him. Kaoru’s never kept anything important from him, even if it was embarrassingly personal.

“Go on,” Kyoya adds, his voice urgent and serious. It was almost the opposite to his past tone, underlying emotions pushing through his vocal chords, pushing Kaoru to answer. His eyes were still glued to Kaoru’s shoulders, almost as if invisible strings were binding him to them.

“That’s it,” Kaoru reassures, his gaze lifting from the floor to in front of him. His throat forcing a sigh as they approached Kaoru’s home. Almost immediately, his head turned to face his three-story home, as if he was avoiding Kyoya.

That’s when Kyoya knew immediately that something was wrong. Kaoru Hitachiin was never passive, he never avoided subjects. He always had something to say about everything. He never avoided people, even those that threw rocks at his windows, or called him names. He’d never back down into a sad puppy. He was always the fierce cat that could, and would rip your eyeballs out of their sockets, with a light swipe of the claw.

“Kaoru,” Kyoya demanded, his voice getting harsher, his jaw tensing with every ‘un-Kaoru-like’ movement. He felt like grabbing Kaoru’s shoulders and shaking them so vigorously, Kaoru would fall. When he saw the boy’s shoulders hunched over weakly, like a mouse covering in the corner of the room.

Kaoru’s footsteps stopped, reacting to Kyoya’s outburst. His body turned to face his home like a robot, his limbs moving as if they’d programmed the meeting over and over. Even his finger movements seemed rehearsed, palms facing his legs at his sides, completely relaxed.

If he wasn’t worried as fuck, Kyoya probably would have laughed at the irony. Everything Kaoru did was almost melodramatic, his head actions were always as sharp as a blade. His feet consistently tread lightly, as if he was walking on clouds. His facial expressions were always wide, leaving nothing to one’s imagination.

“I’ll see you later Kyoya,” Kaoru said with a dullness that told Kyoya to step with caution. If he said one wrong thing, Kaoru would lock up forever. Like a computer file that forgot to ask you ‘Are you sure you want to delete this item?’.

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally meant to be a one-shot, but i got too investeddd


End file.
